Sarah, I agree with Dave's comment (below). Pregnant women are oh so SEXY! Most likely, guys are a bit reluctant to approach you because they assume their overture is not welcome. Next time you go out and want attention, just give a little bit of a signal. I bet big money you will be happy with the response.
And, getting ready to add a life to the world is a big deal. And it will change your life in ways you can't imagine. And you will also experience love like you never imagined. All the best to you and your new family.
Well yes...having a baby changes everything. Your identity as a woman, your sexuality, your relationship with your partner and just your way of being in the world. Give yourself grace and be open to whatever shifts will come. Also the old cliche is true - to everything there is a season. You might not feel like a sex goddess now or in the initial months or even years after your child's birth (speaking from my own experience anyway), but there will come a time when you'll feel that way again, or perhaps even better/different!
This! I came here to say exactly this. Having a baby (or 2) leaves no part of your life unchanged. Your time and your body feel like they are not your own for a while but it’s temporary. You will adjust to your new body and you will feel sexy again. Your tiny person will grow so fast and soon you realize that motherhood is the fine art of letting go.
My only suggestion is revel in each change and each moment. They quietly slip past so try to notice and appreciate them all.
When a woman is pregnant it is soooo erotic and sexy! We had serious sex till 2 days before she gave birth. The feeling and Brest milk tastes great. You are SEXY
Beautifully written. I lost myself as a pregnant woman (2xs) and a mom. But then I found myself again in new form. And I LOVE my kids. They've made me a better person. You're going through a literal metamorphosis right now. You just have to submit to the process, wherever it will take you.
This essay was as vulnerable as they come, Sarah. You made me feel your dilemma. It will all be okay in the end. It's normal to lose your sexuality when being heavily pregnant. You have different hormones circulating in your body. It's all about "feathering your nest" now. Your sexuality will come back in time. I know it will.
Dear Sarah, thank you for this text! You are one step ahead in my dream lifestyle and I'm leraning a lot from you.
I've never been pregnant (hope to be some day!), and I don't know how it feels like. But I wish you to find your "pregnant sexiness" and enjoy it to the fullest. I do believe it exists. <3
And this is the gift of having children, expanding our love - it involves some loss, there will be adjustment, mainly to the people I wanted around me, it amazed me how I switched to finding sexy in new places, the more sensitive, caring, mature men, the sexiness of emotional as well as physical strength. There will be some giving in to another’s needs, which is hard but there will be so much love for this new little one.
I so admire your bravery, honesty and fighting spirit, that is sexy, that is how you will keep your sense of self in balance, be reassured that physically everything will come back in time, but better, with patience and trust in the process and keep up your lovely focus on not losing yourself, thanks for sharing.
I truly appreciate the vulnerability and openness. I wonder, though, if there's some space to think about what you're saying to other folks in different body sizes when you say "but mostly I'm huge"?
thanks for noting that, I did think of it, and I know it's not a body positive attitude and comes from an underlying culture of valuing skinniness which I don't think is right! I'm working on that part too.
As a father of 4 and grandchild of 2, I enjoy your writings and living a bit vicariously through your pregnancy, obviously at a certain distance as the guy. All you feel and experience is universal and wonderfully unique at the same time. Best to you and dad in this journey!
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this. I too am currently pregnant and poly and it feels like your words came directly out of my brain. This is my 3rd pregnancy, but my first as an openly poly person and with my current partner. One thing I know for sure, is this is a season. The urge to pull our energy inward and focus on the baby is totally normal and will slowly shift as the child grows. I've done that part twice...so I am pretty sure that I will be reunited with my inner maiden in the future (and in my experience, more deeply and embodied than before) It does take time. I have not been feeling my typical sexual self either. It is challenging to feel so large and less mobile and sex sure can be super awkward. My emotions have me feeling like a sobbing mess...like A LOT. Not sexy. I have not felt like dating at all, or being physically intimate (or even emotionally intimate) with other people since becoming pregnant. I think this is just a normal phase and what we're doing is so beautiful. Polyamory is a philosophy, a way of being and viewing the world. Its not going anywhere.
It feels so exciting to imagine the future me with my son and my partner having the most empowered free life with as much love as we desire. Showing our son what it is to be happy and healthy, physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually.
But for now, I am deeply supported by my partner and I'm surrendering to the beauty and sacredness of the experience. I trust I will come back hotter, more powerful, more grounded, more embodied, and more unstoppable than ever 💥
I’m pregnant and poly too! Thanks for writing something so vulnerable. I feel represented and validated. Dating while pregnant has been interesting, and more intentional, that’s for sure. I’m most worried about what continuing the relationships and flirtation-ships I’ve built during this pregnancy will look like post-partum. I don’t want to lose the connections, but know my energies will be focused on my little one. My romantic interests (not exactly partners, since I lean more towards relationship anarchy and don’t have a nesting partner) all have kids, but their kids are older. Newborns are ALOT 😅
Thank you for sharing. I relate to this so much. I got pregnant shortly after my husband and I became poly. While at first it didn’t effect things (because we were able to keep it between just my husband and I) it definitely has now. Right now I’m feeling super vulnerable and lonely. My husband and I have separated but living together for unrelated reasons. My steady fwb broke things off with me saying he just wanted to be friends. Another person I was starting to date cut things off once he found out I was pregnant. I don’t feel sexy or desirable. I hurt all the time. Mostly right now I wish I had companionship and comfort rather than a sexual relationship. I talk to people here and there on the apps but not putting in a ton of effort bc I’m afraid of the judgement once they meet me in person and I never know the right time to tell a new person I’m pregnant.
Thank you, dear Sarah. It was amazing to share this experience woth you. Ad woman who wust dtarted polyamory, and who just thinking of children in future - it s the mist open, honest and beautiful essay i ve ever read in Internet. It, s Ok, you will be happy, amazing sexy, loving and beautiful mother. Yes, it s temporary another role and your body tells you about it. So be kind to yourself and try to enjoy this time and these changes ♥️
Sarah, I agree with Dave's comment (below). Pregnant women are oh so SEXY! Most likely, guys are a bit reluctant to approach you because they assume their overture is not welcome. Next time you go out and want attention, just give a little bit of a signal. I bet big money you will be happy with the response.
And, getting ready to add a life to the world is a big deal. And it will change your life in ways you can't imagine. And you will also experience love like you never imagined. All the best to you and your new family.
Well yes...having a baby changes everything. Your identity as a woman, your sexuality, your relationship with your partner and just your way of being in the world. Give yourself grace and be open to whatever shifts will come. Also the old cliche is true - to everything there is a season. You might not feel like a sex goddess now or in the initial months or even years after your child's birth (speaking from my own experience anyway), but there will come a time when you'll feel that way again, or perhaps even better/different!
This! I came here to say exactly this. Having a baby (or 2) leaves no part of your life unchanged. Your time and your body feel like they are not your own for a while but it’s temporary. You will adjust to your new body and you will feel sexy again. Your tiny person will grow so fast and soon you realize that motherhood is the fine art of letting go.
My only suggestion is revel in each change and each moment. They quietly slip past so try to notice and appreciate them all.
When a woman is pregnant it is soooo erotic and sexy! We had serious sex till 2 days before she gave birth. The feeling and Brest milk tastes great. You are SEXY
Beautifully written. I lost myself as a pregnant woman (2xs) and a mom. But then I found myself again in new form. And I LOVE my kids. They've made me a better person. You're going through a literal metamorphosis right now. You just have to submit to the process, wherever it will take you.
This essay was as vulnerable as they come, Sarah. You made me feel your dilemma. It will all be okay in the end. It's normal to lose your sexuality when being heavily pregnant. You have different hormones circulating in your body. It's all about "feathering your nest" now. Your sexuality will come back in time. I know it will.
Dear Sarah, thank you for this text! You are one step ahead in my dream lifestyle and I'm leraning a lot from you.
I've never been pregnant (hope to be some day!), and I don't know how it feels like. But I wish you to find your "pregnant sexiness" and enjoy it to the fullest. I do believe it exists. <3
And this is the gift of having children, expanding our love - it involves some loss, there will be adjustment, mainly to the people I wanted around me, it amazed me how I switched to finding sexy in new places, the more sensitive, caring, mature men, the sexiness of emotional as well as physical strength. There will be some giving in to another’s needs, which is hard but there will be so much love for this new little one.
I so admire your bravery, honesty and fighting spirit, that is sexy, that is how you will keep your sense of self in balance, be reassured that physically everything will come back in time, but better, with patience and trust in the process and keep up your lovely focus on not losing yourself, thanks for sharing.
I truly appreciate the vulnerability and openness. I wonder, though, if there's some space to think about what you're saying to other folks in different body sizes when you say "but mostly I'm huge"?
thanks for noting that, I did think of it, and I know it's not a body positive attitude and comes from an underlying culture of valuing skinniness which I don't think is right! I'm working on that part too.
As a father of 4 and grandchild of 2, I enjoy your writings and living a bit vicariously through your pregnancy, obviously at a certain distance as the guy. All you feel and experience is universal and wonderfully unique at the same time. Best to you and dad in this journey!
"Every new beginning is some other beginning's end."
Thank you everyone for the supportive comments!
Sarah,
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this. I too am currently pregnant and poly and it feels like your words came directly out of my brain. This is my 3rd pregnancy, but my first as an openly poly person and with my current partner. One thing I know for sure, is this is a season. The urge to pull our energy inward and focus on the baby is totally normal and will slowly shift as the child grows. I've done that part twice...so I am pretty sure that I will be reunited with my inner maiden in the future (and in my experience, more deeply and embodied than before) It does take time. I have not been feeling my typical sexual self either. It is challenging to feel so large and less mobile and sex sure can be super awkward. My emotions have me feeling like a sobbing mess...like A LOT. Not sexy. I have not felt like dating at all, or being physically intimate (or even emotionally intimate) with other people since becoming pregnant. I think this is just a normal phase and what we're doing is so beautiful. Polyamory is a philosophy, a way of being and viewing the world. Its not going anywhere.
It feels so exciting to imagine the future me with my son and my partner having the most empowered free life with as much love as we desire. Showing our son what it is to be happy and healthy, physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually.
But for now, I am deeply supported by my partner and I'm surrendering to the beauty and sacredness of the experience. I trust I will come back hotter, more powerful, more grounded, more embodied, and more unstoppable than ever 💥
So much love and blessings to you and baby 🙏💞✨️
I’m pregnant and poly too! Thanks for writing something so vulnerable. I feel represented and validated. Dating while pregnant has been interesting, and more intentional, that’s for sure. I’m most worried about what continuing the relationships and flirtation-ships I’ve built during this pregnancy will look like post-partum. I don’t want to lose the connections, but know my energies will be focused on my little one. My romantic interests (not exactly partners, since I lean more towards relationship anarchy and don’t have a nesting partner) all have kids, but their kids are older. Newborns are ALOT 😅
Thank you for sharing. I relate to this so much. I got pregnant shortly after my husband and I became poly. While at first it didn’t effect things (because we were able to keep it between just my husband and I) it definitely has now. Right now I’m feeling super vulnerable and lonely. My husband and I have separated but living together for unrelated reasons. My steady fwb broke things off with me saying he just wanted to be friends. Another person I was starting to date cut things off once he found out I was pregnant. I don’t feel sexy or desirable. I hurt all the time. Mostly right now I wish I had companionship and comfort rather than a sexual relationship. I talk to people here and there on the apps but not putting in a ton of effort bc I’m afraid of the judgement once they meet me in person and I never know the right time to tell a new person I’m pregnant.
Thank you, dear Sarah. It was amazing to share this experience woth you. Ad woman who wust dtarted polyamory, and who just thinking of children in future - it s the mist open, honest and beautiful essay i ve ever read in Internet. It, s Ok, you will be happy, amazing sexy, loving and beautiful mother. Yes, it s temporary another role and your body tells you about it. So be kind to yourself and try to enjoy this time and these changes ♥️