Hi Sarah - I've faced a similar struggle. I've seen my own unconventional relationship fall into hard times, and suddenly it seems like I've failed not just myself or the other person or that relationship, but I've failed the very promise offered by unconventional relationships and everyone who believes in them. Or I think that the people who know me well enough will secretly sneer: "Of course it failed! They were playing with fire!" But I think that sets waaaaaaaay too high an expectation for myself! Taking the road-less-traveled doesn't mean that the road has no bumps in it, or even a cliff at the end. A less-than-strictly-monogamous relationship is still a human relationship, with a beginning and a middle and an end. Regardless of the 'model', it can be strong or fragile or anything in between, and it can shape-shift. And you might not get to see all or any of that complexity very clearly except in hindsight. Put another way, lots and lots of strictly monogamous relationships fail, and no one seems to blame monogamy, even if an affair was involved. No one seems to say: "Of course it failed, trying to stay with one person and only one person for life." But why don't we say that? When people get hitched in a traditional way and then one person strays, why don't other people point to the closed nature of the relationship as the underlying reason for the split? My simple answer: people want to believe in their story-book fairy tales, me included!
Listen Sarah, I’ve read your piece twice now and can understand why you felt the way you did. You made the same mistake we all probably have done more than once, we read too much into a thing and then started doubting everything. It’s ok, and it just shows that sometimes, we’re our own worst enemy. Giving people space is the beat thing we can do and you did that, and Flo had time to come to terms with his feelings to your benefit.
And lastly, the day someone can predict the future with clarity, that person will be rich beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. We’re here for your story and thoughts, not because you’re able to predict the future. Nothing is forever and it just goes to show, you’re human like the rest of us. Keep writing and share your life, feelings, and thoughts with us. Stay strong!!
Hi Sarah - I've faced a similar struggle. I've seen my own unconventional relationship fall into hard times, and suddenly it seems like I've failed not just myself or the other person or that relationship, but I've failed the very promise offered by unconventional relationships and everyone who believes in them. Or I think that the people who know me well enough will secretly sneer: "Of course it failed! They were playing with fire!" But I think that sets waaaaaaaay too high an expectation for myself! Taking the road-less-traveled doesn't mean that the road has no bumps in it, or even a cliff at the end. A less-than-strictly-monogamous relationship is still a human relationship, with a beginning and a middle and an end. Regardless of the 'model', it can be strong or fragile or anything in between, and it can shape-shift. And you might not get to see all or any of that complexity very clearly except in hindsight. Put another way, lots and lots of strictly monogamous relationships fail, and no one seems to blame monogamy, even if an affair was involved. No one seems to say: "Of course it failed, trying to stay with one person and only one person for life." But why don't we say that? When people get hitched in a traditional way and then one person strays, why don't other people point to the closed nature of the relationship as the underlying reason for the split? My simple answer: people want to believe in their story-book fairy tales, me included!
Listen Sarah, I’ve read your piece twice now and can understand why you felt the way you did. You made the same mistake we all probably have done more than once, we read too much into a thing and then started doubting everything. It’s ok, and it just shows that sometimes, we’re our own worst enemy. Giving people space is the beat thing we can do and you did that, and Flo had time to come to terms with his feelings to your benefit.
And lastly, the day someone can predict the future with clarity, that person will be rich beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. We’re here for your story and thoughts, not because you’re able to predict the future. Nothing is forever and it just goes to show, you’re human like the rest of us. Keep writing and share your life, feelings, and thoughts with us. Stay strong!!