Non-monogamous, but not polyamorous?

Maybe it's time to let go.

Ever since I first heard about polyamory, it seemed like the “the way.” It rang correct. Like the expression of a more evolved humanity.

It seems to shun many less-than-desirable human characteristics: possessiveness and greed to name a few.

Furthermore, it inspires behavior associated with Jesus Christ or the Buddha: Love the person it may be most difficult to love (your partner’s other partner). Or at least do your best to.

It advocates for a beautiful concept called compersion, experiencing joy when the people we date feel joy, even if that joy comes from another relationship.

It encourages facing your fear of abandonment or worthlessness issues and working through them with awareness.

It uplifts sluttiness and sex positivity. As long as you are safer, why not sleep with more than one person? Free love baby.

Yes, there’s so much beauty in the idea of polyamory.

We date other people and have enjoyed that freedom so far, but will we ever be truly polyamorous?

And because of that beauty, ever since I first met real-life people practicing it seven years ago, I’ve been trying to go in that direction.

I’ve dreamed of a polycule, a connected web of lovers and partners who all get along, of my very own. 

Yet that’s not where I am right now. That’s not where we are, my partner of three years, Flo, and me.