I have really appreciated everything you've written so far about the ups and downs of pregnancy. I appreciate your honesty and it's so important to diversify/widen/show the expansiveness of the experience. I am a midwife, actually, so believe me, you are not alone and yet, many women/birthing people think they are alone in the sentiment of pregnancy being a huge physical and emotional sacrifice. It is not beautiful all the time, or comfortable. There are a lot of gains, but also losses, for sure.
I personally birthed three babies, who are now teens. My youngest just got her period yesterday. The cycle continues. As far as how long it is before we feel like we truly can get back to ourselves, the verdict is still out for me. On the plus side, I consider these humans people I enjoy spending time with and they have become a part of my life that feels like an authentic part of myself. So, it's not like I'm _not _ myself. But I definitely would like more time and choice if I could get it. For example, as I ponder what it would take to truly and actually have an open relationship (a part of me that I would like to pursue) I frequently ask myself if it's even possible as long as I have kids at home. Might not be, actually, for me. My partner and I are so committed to sharing the load of home and parenting, and there is just such a dang load. I don't want to not do my part. And also I do other things, like run a lot and study a third language, and work. So...adding dates and close time with another human or humans---when I barely get that time with the one I have-- seems pretty out of reach, and difficult unless I'm willing to give some other things up. Or the kids get older. Or I find the perfect sweet person/people who want exactly what I have to offer in the limited times I have to offer it. But that's the trick right there, deciding which parts of the "you" you value the most. Leaning into them. And staying open to finding the right fit of things. Take your time. You will do it. You already are. I'll miss you while you are on maternity leave, but I am so glad you are taking the time!
I relate to this so much! I found the transition so difficult, but ultimately so rewarding when I finally got to the other side of who I was and who I became through motherhood. I wish someone had told me in that first year.. ‘you will feel like you again! But even better!’
I love how honest and self-aware you are. Knowing what it’s really about for you and being brave enough to share it. I really appreciate this. Really really appreciate you.
Sarah,
I have really appreciated everything you've written so far about the ups and downs of pregnancy. I appreciate your honesty and it's so important to diversify/widen/show the expansiveness of the experience. I am a midwife, actually, so believe me, you are not alone and yet, many women/birthing people think they are alone in the sentiment of pregnancy being a huge physical and emotional sacrifice. It is not beautiful all the time, or comfortable. There are a lot of gains, but also losses, for sure.
I personally birthed three babies, who are now teens. My youngest just got her period yesterday. The cycle continues. As far as how long it is before we feel like we truly can get back to ourselves, the verdict is still out for me. On the plus side, I consider these humans people I enjoy spending time with and they have become a part of my life that feels like an authentic part of myself. So, it's not like I'm _not _ myself. But I definitely would like more time and choice if I could get it. For example, as I ponder what it would take to truly and actually have an open relationship (a part of me that I would like to pursue) I frequently ask myself if it's even possible as long as I have kids at home. Might not be, actually, for me. My partner and I are so committed to sharing the load of home and parenting, and there is just such a dang load. I don't want to not do my part. And also I do other things, like run a lot and study a third language, and work. So...adding dates and close time with another human or humans---when I barely get that time with the one I have-- seems pretty out of reach, and difficult unless I'm willing to give some other things up. Or the kids get older. Or I find the perfect sweet person/people who want exactly what I have to offer in the limited times I have to offer it. But that's the trick right there, deciding which parts of the "you" you value the most. Leaning into them. And staying open to finding the right fit of things. Take your time. You will do it. You already are. I'll miss you while you are on maternity leave, but I am so glad you are taking the time!
I relate to this so much! I found the transition so difficult, but ultimately so rewarding when I finally got to the other side of who I was and who I became through motherhood. I wish someone had told me in that first year.. ‘you will feel like you again! But even better!’
I love how honest and self-aware you are. Knowing what it’s really about for you and being brave enough to share it. I really appreciate this. Really really appreciate you.