The pressure to O

Do you feel it?

Over the past years, I’ve felt being good at sex was directly related to my ability to have an orgasm.

If I didn’t come, I would be disappointed, my partner would be disappointed, and feminists globally would be outraged.

But of course, putting this pressure on myself did not help the cause.

I’ve recently changed my mindset when it comes to climaxing, and it’s helped me enjoy sex more. Here’s my story.

I put the O on a pedestal and it fkd me

In other news, I went out on another date with the guy I’d told you about a few weeks ago.

It was freezing outside so there was nothing else to do but go to each other’s homes. Which I think made it feel like we should hook up even though I knew I wasn’t necessarily ready for that yet.

Anyway, we ended up just making out, and then he went on his way. It was a good night but I think being in my apartment made me feel this pressure which took away from my enjoyment of it overall.


To polyamory or not to polyamory

Flo and I have discussed this here and there over the past months. Our concern with poly is that we don’t want to take time and attention from each other. 

In the end, our time is limited and there’s no way we could spend as much time and attention on each other and be attached romantically to someone else.

For example, we want to go work from South America this next winter. If either of us had another close partner, we would not be able to do this so easily. We would have other people to consider (sort of like when you have kids, you can’t just pick up and leave without considering them.)

That said, you wouldn’t choose NOT to have kids just because you wanted to go to South America.

It might not make sense to look at it from this scarcity mindset. His having two partners with whom he is fully attached could actually be a good thing for me too. It’s possible that she would bring joy and perspective into his life, which brings joy and perspective into mine either directly or indirectly.

Just like a parent is able to give enough attention to two children, one person could give enough love and attention to two people.

It all sounds very romantic, idyllic, utopic even. Theoretically, it could be really cool to have more than one person to rely on and love. Either way, I’m happy as things are. I’m lucky to have Flo in my life :)



That’s me 3 years ago. I want to go back to India if you haven’t noticed :)

Fewer articles this week from me because I’m taking next week off and wanted to save some for then! <3

Why I Talk About My Sex Life in Detail, and You Should Too
Let’s de-stigmatize sex, one story at a time

4 Bad and Worse Reasons I Cheated on My Ex-Boyfriends
#4 — I wanted to feel like Tony Soprano

And here are two recent articles from the Monogamish pub!

Tinder, Polyamory, and Embracing Compersion After 30 Years of Monogamy by Bella Blue Orchid
What are my Tinder goals you ask?

Sorry, but Jealousy isn’t real by Thomas Brand
We need to start recognising the true issues in our relationships that we’ve been conditioned to call “jealousy”