Last night, Flo went out on a date with a woman he met at the Kiez Burn (the regional burning man event that takes place outside of Berlin).
She’s someone I’d met before too. A cool person who is also polyamorous and has at least one partner.
I was a little nervous when I heard about her texting him and his interest in her. Mostly because she’s older and hot and more experienced and seems like kind of a boss.
But then last night came.
I was home alone. I had some calls with people stateside in the evening and then read, had dinner, and watched an episode of Working Moms on Netflix. I went to sleep.
And this morning, I woke up.
And that was it. It was no big deal.
If you think about how I felt nine months ago when Flo went out on that first date with Kathryn, it’s like night and day.
It just doesn’t feel so threatening anymore.
Okay and maybe that has a little to do with:
A. She already is in a relationship so I know she understands and respects polyamory more than someone who has no idea about it. And might even be someone who can be additive to our relationship in that she can share her experiences.
B. I also have a date this week (tonight) with the guy I told you about last week (Let’s give him a name now — Eric, perhaps?). So it feels fair/ even. His going out with her allows me to be fully excited about this date without guilt.
But even though those two things are true, I know that it’s not just that. It’s also habituation and maybe, dare I say personal growth.
I really feel freer now — able to let go of the possessiveness I feel over Flo and just enjoy him and our love. I feel more excited about him enjoying the sexual romantic energy of another.
I’m feeling good right now about him. About us. About life.
AND I’m looking forward to the night! I’ll let you know how it is next week.
In my favorite piece this week of mine, I talk about how keeping my body hair is a profession of love for myself <3
Other stories this week
I Was Concerned I Hadn’t Yet Slept With Anyone but My Partner
I wondered if it was self-sabotage
We Went to Our First Kinky Party, and It Felt Like Freedom
It made me question why PDA is so unacceptable in the default world
<3
Sarah
A polaroid of me from the Kiez Burn (our camp was Wild West-themed). Yeehaw!