I'm no longer "the One"

And I'm learning to be okay with that

The below is an article I wrote on Medium from when Flo and I first started dating. It tenderly expresses what it was like to know and feel him liking another woman for the first time. Specifically what that meant for me and for my ego.

Repost because Flo, Avi, and I are at another Burn this week. <3

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“What if she and I had sex?” asked my partner Flo as we lay in his bed one Saturday evening. “Would you be okay with that?”

“Yeah, I think I’m okay with it.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “You can tell me if not.”

“Yes…” I said. “But what about you? Do you want to have sex with her?”

“Well… yeah, I think so,” he replied. “It would be nice to be with someone different, just for a change.”

And with that, my heart sank.

The day after our conversation, Flo went on a second date with the French woman he just started seeing. And it ended…well.

None of this is surprising. They hit it off on the first date. And we are in an open relationship, so he’s free to see other women as am I to see other men. He had my blessing.

But even though it’s not surprising, it’s still difficult to come to the following realization, so blatant and clear:

Maybe, I’m not so special after all.

I’m not the only person in his life who can make his romantic neurons tingle. There is someone else who can get him riled up. Who can make him moan. Someone else he can daydream about when he’s alone.

It’s scary to watch him fall for another woman right before my eyes.