We think that the world works like this:
Get the things you want —> Feel good about your life
But it doesn’t. It works more like this:
Feel good about your life —> Get the things you want
Here’s the proof:
I recently wrote about how I made a decision: I’m going to start the process of trying to have kids at the end of next year (around my 34th birthday). With or without a man.
Because of this plan, I started to feel better about my life. Because I could stop worrying about when and with whom. And I could instead focus on enjoying these next childless years and getting excited for when I will try to get a little one on m own.
But that wasn’t the only effect of making this plan.
What happened to me
After I’d set this in writing (literally), I asked a good friend of mine whether he might be open to donating sperm to me.
And that was scary. I was afraid of being rejected, of getting hurt. You can read more about how that went, here.
But long story short, in the few short weeks since I’ve made this plan, I now have two friends of mine (one unprompted) who seem very happy to donate sperm and even be an uncle figure in this future kid’s life.
Which is like, honestly, for me, the dream.
I love the idea of the child having multiple adult figures to learn from and living in more of a community as opposed to a nuclear home.
It feels like all it took was changing my beliefs about what is possible. And now it feels like all my dreams are coming true.
You stay true to your goals, you put yourself out there, and good things just come.
It’s like magic.
:)
More stuff
I stumbled upon this great article on Facebook about a woman who gets vetoed by the guy she’s dating’s girlfriend. Check it.
<3
Sarah
Being as I have been through this already, it would be an honor. But honestly I’m not into squirting into a glass jar. I would rather the kid was engulfed by the excitement and love it took to make him or her. Relocating to Algarve 1/2023.