"I should be happy for my partner."

This is what we tell ourselves.

A lot of people think when it comes to jealousy in non-monogamy, you can just repeat in your head: “I should be happy for my partner when they’re happy.” And that will do the trick.

Eventually the jealousy will go away because it’s not what you “should” feel.

But this doesn’t work.

When I first dove into non-monogamy, I dated a guy with 3 partners.

I loved …