So I had sex a week or so ago. At a festival. Just when I was sort of giving up on it.
I’d been having this internal battle…
On one hand, I’d wanted to have sex with SOMEONE.
I’ve been in an open relationship for over a year and it’s kind of felt like I haven’t been making “use of it” so to speak. Whereas my partner Flo had.
Despite COVID, it didn’t seem to make sense that in over a year I hadn’t slept with anyone.
I’ve wondered if it was self-sabotage. That maybe secretly I was stopping myself from having sex because I’m afraid it would ruin my relationship. I’ve thought: Maybe I should just get it over with it just to prove to myself I can.
On the other hand, why rush it?
Just having the knowledge and freedom to know I can have sex with someone else is enough. That feels totally freeing.
I don’t need to force it. I’ve my whole life to act on this freedom. Having this freedom is the main benefit of being open—not as much the actually acting on it part. And I have gotten to enjoy that.
So these last few weeks, I was more of this latter mindset, thinking ehh, who cares if I don’t actually have sex? If I don’t feel a strong urge, its cool.
And that’s of course when I met him.
It was so simple in the end.
A friend of a friend at the festival I attended without Flo. He showed me attention. It seemed clear he was interested—he gave me a sticker. And then after hanging out for almost 12 hours, flirting, dancing, and kissing, I went back to his tent.
And had an amazing time.
It was that easy.
This whole time — it wasn’t self-sabotage after all. I just hadn’t met the right person in the right circumstance. Until I did. :)-
In other news, I’ve been going full power on my course which starts in a few weeks.
It’s called the Enlightened Pillow Talk Network, and it’s designed to help you unlock your true desires and pursue the sex life you want. A quick thanks to everyone who told me about their challenges in the survey or over the phone and helped me design this to address what you actually need.
And also anyone who joins the beta group gets half off the list price. Reply to this email if you want more info on this or have any questions.
<3, Sarah
festival looks ;)