I was out the other night and a guy I used to date was there.
He’s now in a monogamous relationship, which I totally respect. This is what he wants.
Yet, yet, I can’t deny I’m still very attracted to him and being around him just “catching up” while he was wearing this electric blue blazer that his body was almost too long for, I just wanted him. Point blank.
There was no denying it. Nothing I could to do stop it. It just was.
And as I was trying to just breathe through it and like accept the desire washing over me was not to be expressed, I couldn’t help but also wonder, Is that totally true?
I don’t mean trying to mess up his relationship, or bring them into non-monogamy so we can hook up. No no no.
It was more in the sense, Do I really have to just stamp on this flame continuously or is there an outlet for me to just… I don’t know…
Tell him how I feel?
Would that be so wrong?
The dominant culture based on what I sense implicitly would say, “Yes, this is wrong.”
We do not tell other’s people’s boyfriends we find them sexy. That is crossing a boundary.
But but but.
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