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At a friendās apartment party two weeks ago, there was one cute guy I didnāt know. And at some point in the evening, he and I started to flirt.Ā
He was very drunk, and I was sort of pretty drunk.
In front of the speakers where a friend was DJing, he grabbed my arm, spun me around, and put his hand on my waist as he did it.
His touch sent sparks up and down the left side of my torso that lingerd even after his hand left my body. Fireworks. Dopamine. All of that delicious energy.
We exchanged numbers, and a week after the party (last week) we went out on a date.
At the bar, he looked into my eyes and kept telling me how sexy I was, in between bouts of making out. And the way he said it, in this impulsive way, as if the words just went straight from his body, his core, the depth of him to his lips drove me mad.
I hadnāt felt like that, well, in a while.
And damn, I want more.Ā
In my experience, this level of lust can only happen with someone new. It doesnāt feel like this with my long-term partner. It didnāt even feel that way with Eric anymore either even after a few months.
Iāve talked about this before. The less you feel you actually have something the more you can actually want it.
Thatās why I believe this level of āwantā āof pure ādesireāā can only happen when somethingās uncertain.
But we also should not confuse want and desire, with pleasure or satisfaction or joyā¦
I feel very much of those latter feelings in my long-term relationship, and I think it would be hard, if not impossible, to feel them so deeply with someone new.
My point is that more desire does not equal better. More desire is just different ā¦in a crazy sort of way.
And I fucking love it.
Now hereās me attempting to drink wine using only my foot last sat at friendās country house. (It only worked when I used my hand to steer my foot). #Yoga.
Thanks for reading, and if you havenāt yet, it would be awesome if you could help support me by answering this 5-min survey :)
<3
Sarah
Sarah, I have to disagree with the notion that want, desire aren't part of pleasure, satisfaction or joy. I may be the only one who feels this way, but wanting, desiring, lusting...is intensely pleasurable, satisfying & joyful. Being able to FEEL it leaves me hyper-aware of being alive. And that's intensely pleasurable, to me. Are there different modalities, when the desire morphs into a warmer, softer connection? I think there are. And it's not quite a distinction without a difference. But I KNOW how much I love flirting, pursuing wanting, lusting...just one broken-down, baggy-eyed old warrior's take on it. Best wishes & WRITE ON! Dirk
Yea! Something like this happened to me once when I was younger. A rep came to my office, well cubicle :) - I'd recently been made head of the team. I still don't know what happened, certainly wasn't alcohol that time. Hormones somewhere in the mix, but mainly being taken seriously by the opposite sex. I didn't buy anything as I realised my brain was fried (supposing I heard the proposition at all), but I didn't follow up the personal side either - dumbo. But now I believe in the possibility of a completely unexpected joyous spark between two people.